If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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