It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize