What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
