So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
