a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
