think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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