Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
