It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
