remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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