Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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