flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize