I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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