absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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