found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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