is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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