sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
