did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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