hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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