Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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