So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
