and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You are the jesus of drinking
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
