Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
This is my life. Enjoy the view
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
