people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
