She said her name was "party"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
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Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
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Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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