I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
