You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
