if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
