You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
