I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
