better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
My ATM looks so different sober.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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