Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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