I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
we made out on top of his cat.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
She needs sedatives and a leash
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
