i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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