very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
