Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
