how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize