Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
