we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
