Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
