You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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