he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
