That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
