Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
