He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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