i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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