Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
