grandma shit on top of the toilet
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I need to calm my uterus...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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