i just had sex bonerless
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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