So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
