i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
