He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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