Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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