I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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