Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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