i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
