SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
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Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
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You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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