That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize