I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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