I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
