Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
3 2 1 whiskey
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
