He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Randomize
