seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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