Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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