"it" just moved
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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