Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize