hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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